The Two Part One Shot
by anti-hopeful369
Summary: What just happened here? I don't know myself, but the story progresses to your suggestions. Any way you want the story to progress, just submit your ideas in a review. R and R. I know the story really is confusing but with my style of writing it takes a w
1. Confused? So am I

Disclaimer: No I DO NOT own Love Hina…NO, no matter how much you want me to I don't own it. Nor do I own Neon Genesis Evangelion, Ranma ½, or any other anime/manga I may throw into the mix

Half A Clip

Saturday April 1 7 A.M. Ruins somewhere in Mol Mol

Gunfire drowned out the shouts of the dying men on the battle field. Blood sprayed in the air as a shot pierced a man's neck. Keitaro slumped against the wall, obviously fatigued by out running bullets. Then Keitaro heard someone coming from around the wall. He quietly reached around for his custom Derringer, but was surprised to see that it was Just Keen

"Hey Keitaro, how you holdin up?"

"God you're dumb. How can you ask that question? But in any case, I'm fine. How bout you?"

"Oh you know, killin guys at random, tryin not to get killed, and tryin to keep my contacts from dry up too much in the process. I ought to smack you for that, but I asked an equally stupid question. Speakin of stupid, you seen Ranma? Or Shinji for that matter?"

"I know Shinji is busy pickin off the remainders of the MMR's that he found earlier. He's pretty good with that sniper, as for Ranma, last I saw of him, he was chasin around a whole platoon with only the hunting knife he stole from you."

"Oh I was wondering where that was. How much ammo you got?"

"All I got is my Derringer and half a clip for my M4. How about you?"

"I've got half a clip for my M4 and all five of my Derringers. By the way, I was only askin cause some of the MMR's followed me here."

"By some, how many do you mean?'

"About twenty or thirty, why?"

"Oh I thought this would be a challenge. You ready? They're almost here?"

"After all this time, you still have to ask me that? I'm always ready. Between us we got a good sixty rounds, of course you suck at shooting, so we can deduct a good twenty. So forty of those rounds have the potential to kill somebody; Oh by the way, I got our words back."

Keen handed Keitaro the Hina Blade with a grin on his face. Keen drew his own blade, the Flying Shadow.

"So if we get bored we can always use these."

"Nice job Keen, very nice job."

Just then, gunfire zoomed above their heads. Keen had already begun firing with uncanny accuracy dispatching six to eleven MMR's in less than thirty seconds. Keitaro had begun firing, hitting the ground beneath their enemy's feet.

"Damn you suck Keitaro"

"Shut up Ranma!"

Ranma Saotome began firing his SMG but produced little effect.

"Geeze Ranma and you say Keitaro sucks? Goddamnit! I'm out; I'm goin in with Flying Shadow; Cease fire!"

"Yes sir sirdy sir sir"

"Oh hey Shinji!"

Keen jumped out into the open with a blinding speed. He leapt up into the air and aimed downward

"I command you to rise! Rise as my minions and break the ties that bind you to this puny mortal!"

Then, the shadow of the MMR's gained an apparition like form. They solidified into a mirrored reflection of their host's and dove inside their bodies

"Yes my minions! Now, destroy their souls! Consume them and feed this blade."

Keen struck the ground, but no movement was made. Then al that could be heard were the frantic cries of the MMR's as they began to bleed. First they began to bleed out of their nose, then their ears, then their eyes then their fingers and toes, and then their mouths. Keen pulled his blade out of the ground and walked by each MMR, slicing his and occasionally her head off, the shadows flying into his form as soon as the deed was done. Keen's eyes were glowing a dark black that trailed in the air as he walked back to the group.

"So, anyone hungry; I'm sure we can safely say that we've got no more problems with the MolMolian Rebels. Let's regroup with Seta-san and get something to eat. Oh, has anyone seen my Derringers? (Short barrel-locked pocket pistols)"

3 Years Earlier: 9:00 A.M. March 21-Somewhere over Japanese airspace

Keen sat in his chair trying to ignore the amblings of the old woman to his right and the fat couple eating chicken to his left. He stared at his watch which had shown 9:00. He had already set Japanese time to his watch, so he had no idea what time it was back in America. In front of him where two men who where chatting about their trip to America, something about cursed artifacts, some girl named Naru, and some other woman named Haruka

'God, how can they just keep talkin without even taking a breath? Grrr, I have to ask them to stop talkin'

Keen kicked the chair of the older man and was surprised when the chair snapped; but it was too late to stop his kick and the man slammed his head onto the fold out table in front of him. Keen almost had a heart attack when he saw him just continue talking as if nothing had happened even with a large trail of blood flowing freely down his face

'What is up with this guy?'

Soon his flight had docked in the airport once again. He remembered why he had come here…For no particular reason.

'Oh hey it's that guy again. I guess I should apologize to him.'

"Umm excuse me sir"

"Oh Yes can I help you?"

"I would just like to apologize for bashing your head during the flight."

"Oh well, I didn't really feel it. By the way my names Seta and this is my partner Ke-"

"Keitaro Urashima. Age twenty one, infatuated with someone who is way out of your league, manager of an all girls dormitory, and three time ronin. How do I know you ask? Very simple, your shadow told me. So…you already know that Naru is way out of your league so why try? Never mind, don't answer, your shadow already did. I can help you, I can help you with all of your problems….Except that one, and yes I know what you are thinking…..No…..Yes……Sure……Seta stop thinking so loudly…Sure lets go…"

'I'm sure I handled that one pretty smoothly. Now I have a place to stay. All I have to do is watch my back, Keitaro sure can't do that. He'd rather die than fight back. Oh well, that's what I gotta help him with. Hmm let's see; he's a master of the God's Cry School but hasn't told Motoko or Tsuruko, he's a master of the Urashima Style of Ninjustu, and he knows how to make a whole mess of pastries. That's a lot to work around. Ugh…Better get started'

The whole way, Keen answered every mental question posed by Seta and Keitaro.

"Seta-san, you should not concern yourself with life. Life has no meaning but to be lived to answer the question that has plagued, us all and that question can only be answered in death. That I do not know. There have been many answers, but none are valid. Dude, shut up; finally we're here! And Seta managed not to flip the car over. Good for you Seta!"

"_God he drives like crap. I'm sure Suu would be able to drive better than him. I feel like I've known these people for years. I guess I should just look forward to Shinobu's cooking."_

"Umm Keen, I can speak English"

"Yeah I know Seta-san"

"Hey Keitaro……Watch this…HEY ALL YOU DUMBASSES IN THERE, TELL MOTOKO TO GET HERE BITCH ASS DOWN HERE. Seta-san put this CD in your Van and turn it on full blast on track number 8 NOW!"

Seta ran to his van and slid the CD in and played track Number 8

"Seta-san, press pause first and press ply when I unsheathe my sword. I want to be dramatic."

Motoko comes out of the dorm clothed in her normal gi and her sword unsheathed

"Who dares to challenge me in such a disrespectful manner"

"That would be me. Are you ready to feel Hell's wrath?"

"It is not me, but you who will feel Hell's wrath"

Keen unsheathed his sword and Seta pressed play

_Can you feel that? Oh shit  
A-wa-ca-ca-ca  
A-wa-ca-ca-ca _

Drowning deep in my sea of loathing  
Broken your servant I kneel (will you give in to me)  
It seems what's left of my human side

"Like it? It's my favorite song. Let's do this."

Keen rushed at Motoko, slashing at her blade and making no effort to actually hit Motoko

_is slowly changing in me (will you give in to me)  
Looking at my own reflection  
When suddenly it changes  
Violently it changes  
There is no turning back now  
You've woken up the demon in me  
_

Motoko blocked every slash with no difficulty and began to fight back. Keen jumped back from her slashes with a content look on his face.

_  
Get up, come on get down with the sickness  
Open up your hate and let it flow in to me  
Get up, come on get down with the sickness  
You mother get up, come on get down with the sickness  
You fucker get up, come on get down with the sickness  
Madness is the gift that has been given to me  
_

Keen's countenance changed into one that would be deemed utterly mad. Keen griped the top of Motoko's head and used it as a base to flip around and deal several kicks to her spine. He then spun back around and dealt another kick to her chest and landed back on the ground.

_  
I can see inside you the sickness is rising  
Don't try to deny what you feel (will you give in to me)  
It seems that all that was good has died  
And is decaying me (will you give in to me)  
It seems you're having some trouble  
In dealing with these changes  
Living with these changes  
The world is a scary place  
Now that you've woken up the demon in me  
_

Then Keen's voice changed to that of Keitaro's and started speaking as he grabbed her face and pushed her toward the ground.

"After all of the shit you pulled on me, show no me no respect. I put up with it for two fucking years, TWO FUCKING MISERABLE YEARS! I could have spent them somewhere living my life the best could. I could have gotten into Tokyo U if you hadn't accused me of being a pervert. I could have spent my time studying instead of trying to avoid planes while flying through the air. Oh and another thing, I AM NOT FUCKING INVINCIBLE! I spent three years of my life studying Martial Arts to defend my love ones and not withstand ROCK SPLITTINGSWORDS!"

Keen whispered something to his blade and thrust it into Motoko and pulled it out, but it left no wounds or holes.

_  
Madness has now come over me _

And when I dream  
No mommy don't do it again  
Don't do it again  
I'll be a good boy  
I'll be a good boy, I promise  
No mommy don't hit me, Ow  
Why did you have to hit me like that, Mommy  
Don't do it, you're hurting me, Ow  
Why did you have to be such a bitch  
Why don't you  
Why don't you just fuck off and die  
Why can't you just fuck off and die  
Why can't you just leave here and die  
Never stick your hand in my face again bitch  
Fuck you  
I don't need this shit  
You stupid, sadistic, abusive fucking whore  
Would you like to see how it feels mommy  
Here it comes, get ready to die


	2. Forcefully Removed?

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

What In God's Name Just Happened?

Keitaro was busy trying to sort out his feelings as he watched Motoko currently being ravaged (Not that way you perverted weirdoes) by Keen. One side of him wanted to laugh hysterically, one wanted to join Keen in thrashing Motoko, one wanted to do both, and one wanted to get some popcorn.

'God what do I do? I don't want to miss this, but I want popcorn!'

Meanwhile, Seta had fallen asleep right in front of his booming stereo system. How that is possible, I do not know and I'm pretty sure that I don't want to know. Maybe he had a concussion. Oh well, I was going to kill him off anyway. Oh look, a shiny nickel aaaaall the way over there. I'll be right back.

The Next Day 8:00 A.M.

Oh hey, sorry I was gone so long. A bird stole the nickel I was looking for, so I had to chase it down. But by the time I got it back, it was all dirty, so I had to hunt down the bird and give it back. Let's see; where were we. Oh right, sorry but you missed the coolest part in the entire story. Oh well. That morning, Motoko lay in bed with a high fever. Keen sat in the living room while everyone was in Motoko's room trying to figure out what the hell just happened

'Is it all that hard to recognize a curse nowadays? God, all I did was reduce her breast size about 8cm. Or did I give her cancer? Oh well, I'm sure it was just the breast thing. I wonder what's on T.V. No wait, I can't do this. I'm supposed to be helping Keitaro, not make him utterly and indescribably evil. Okay, so I pretty much hypnotized Motoko into thinking that it was Keitaro who thrashed her right Motoko's shadow?'

'Right; that voice changing thing worked on her weak and fragile mind.'

'Why is her mind so weak and fragile?... This is new. Her own shadow is talkin shit bout her'

'Because she lost all that she held dear to her because of men, and so, the thought of you beating her made her mentally susceptible to all kinds of indescribably horrible dreams and realities'

'Oh I see; I guess I over did it then.'

'Hmm…Yes, you did.'

'Should I apologize?'

'She would probably kill herself before you have a chance'

'That's true; Shadow, to my blade.'

Motoko's shadow disappeared into the hilt of Keen's blade. Every time he absorbed someone's shadow, he gained the ability to copy one aspect of the person. For example, Keen copied Keitaro's voice as he would need it later on. As for Motoko, what he took from her is a surprise. Keen walked up to the roof with his blade and surveyed the area. There was a large concentration of spirits in this dorm. Most of them looked like they manifested off Keitaro's overflowing chi.

'That reminds me; I left my other blade back in America. Oh well, as long as no evil people find it, then all is well.'

Keen sheathed his blade and held the scabbard in the air.

"Suspend"

The sword, scabbard and all floated in mid air. Keen pulled on a pair of leggings and gauntlets and stood din front of the sword.

"Attack"

The sword instantly unsheathed itself and the blade and scabbard began to swing at him as if they were held by something invisible. The scabbard struck with a force paralleled to Tsuruko. Keen's muscles strained against the steel-lined scabbard's strikes. Then, as if to join in the beating, the actual blade started swinging toward him. This was the actual challenge, dodging the blade while trying not to leave any vital spots open for a rough attack from the possessed scabbard that had just struck his ass.

"Aaah GOD! MY ASS! STOP!"

However the blade and scabbard did not stop pummeling him. The scabbard repeatedly pummeled his ass among other very sensitive things. After an hour or two of ass pummeling, his blade stopped only to chase some nearby pigeons.

Keen walked down the hallway, his body glistening with sweat, when all of a sudden he was met with a moderately (by Keen standards) strong attack that sent him flying through the hallway and smashing into the wall.

"Ahhhh, Dude! What the fuck!"

Keen rubbed the point of impact on his chest as he leaned against the wall. The assailant's footsteps were heard growing ever closer and Keen had still not recovered, but he had recovered fast enough to see an arm rearing back for a punch. At that moment, the severely smashed wall he had been leaning on had chosen that moment to cave. Half of Keen's body had been left floating in mid air while the other half had been pretty busy keeping its upper half from falling into the hot springs below. Keen recovered as quickly as he could to see a mess of blondish hair pool under water in the hot springs.

"Stupid-ass blonde chick………"

Keen felt around his back to feel a large .4/2 shard of wood protruding from his bloodied shirt; he grasped at it, sending small waves of pleasure through his spine. Why it was pleasurable, he did not know why. He slowly pulled the large shard from his back, relishing the moments of pure bliss. It felt as if all of his nerves were getting individual massages.

When the shard was pulled out, he looked at the torn flesh hanging from its jagged edges. The flesh on his back felt cold due to the sudden exposure to the dangers of infection in the germ ridden air.

"Aww crap….Hmmm I wonder if there is anything to eat in this place."

Keen walked downstairs and past Motoko's bedroom where shouts and cries of disgust could be heard when Motoko threw up on half of the entire group.

"I guess that blonde chick was lucky that she fell in the hot springs….She could have gotten covered in partially digested fish ….or is it chicken……or beef.. …..no wait, it smells like fish…..mmmm fish…"

The wound in Keen's stomach was rippling as if it had a mind of its own; his nerves were wiggling out in open space as if they were worms. Anyone who saw him would think that he was of the legion of the undead. Keen let out one of his trademark semi-evil laughs at that thought. Upon entering the kitchen, he was apprehended by what looked like a really big metallic turtle. After browsing through Keitaro's memories, he quickly noticed it to be a 'mecha tama' created by the idiotic know it all. The turtle proceeded to dangle him in the air by his left ankle with what looked like a giant fork or a four pronged trident. The giant two-ton turtle dragged him up the stairs, his head hitting every step along the way and dropped him in front of Motoko's room. There was an uncomfortable silence among all of the room's current inhabitants; even Tama felt uncomfortable as she shifted in her shell; after ten minutes of uncomfortable silence Keen decided to break the ice.

"So, anyone see the game last night? That was awesome especially when the guy did that thing with the ball and that thing happened then the guy got drunk and did that thing and that thing fell and it tipped over the knives and that thing happened and then the blood got all over that one guy and then he went crazy with blood lust and the ref got hit in the balls? That was hilarious."

Keitaro could do naught but break out laughing. Soon Shinobu started giggling, Su asked if refs were tasty, then Haruka started smiling which meant that she was laughing hysterically, and from then on everyone couldn't stop laughing. Keen reached for his sword and hacked the giant turtle in half. Keen walked upstairs to see a sign on the sliding door that read, "Your bags are downstairs" and "P.S. - Don't ever come back"

"Oh well, this sucks"

Keen walked downstairs to see that his bags were hastily packed and his boxers were in an air-locked container next to a hazmat suit that somebody forgot to put away.

'I wonder why that thing has three eyes on it….Oh wait on second thought I don't wonder why"

Keen walked out of the front door and looked back to see Keitaro flying through the roof

"You pitiful idiot…."

'_Prison gates won't open up for me  
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'  
Oh, I reach for you  
Well I'm terrified of these four walls  
These iron bars can't hold my soul in  
All I need is you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And oh I scream for you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_

Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me

Heaven's gates won't open up for me  
With these broken wings I'm fallin'  
And all I see is you  
These city walls ain't got no love for me  
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story  
And oh I scream for you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And all I need from you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'  


_  
Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me  
_

_  
Hurry I'm fallin'_

All I need is you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And oh, I scream for you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me

Hurry I'm fallin'

Seven Days Later : Time Unknown

Keen sat in the Japanese subway sitting next to his dirty and severely damaged tent, one of his favorite winter coats wrapped around him to shield himself from the cold winter air that gusted throughout the subway on occasion. His FIFA '05 cap on the ground with several 1 yen coins inside.


End file.
